Current:Home > MyAlgosensey|Selena Gomez reveals she can't carry a baby. It's a unique kind of grief. -TradeWisdom
Algosensey|Selena Gomez reveals she can't carry a baby. It's a unique kind of grief.
Algosensey View
Date:2025-04-11 12:05:50
Selena Gomez has revealed she's unable to carry a child due to medical reasons − an experience that can Algosenseycause deep grief our society often overlooks.
“I haven’t ever said this,” Gomez told Vanity Fair, in a cover story published online Monday, “but I unfortunately can’t carry my own children. I have a lot of medical issues that would put my life and the baby’s in jeopardy. That was something I had to grieve for a while.”
The 32-year-old star of "Only Murders in the Building" said she still plans on becoming a mom one day. It's just not going to happen "necessarily the way I envisioned it," she added.
“I thought it would happen the way it happens for everyone," she said. "I’m in a much better place with that. I find it a blessing that there are wonderful people willing to do surrogacy or adoption, which are both huge possibilities for me. It made me really thankful for the other outlets for people who are dying to be moms. I’m one of those people. I’m excited for what that journey will look like, but it’ll look a little different. At the end of the day, I don’t care. It’ll be mine. It’ll be my baby.”
Mourning getting pregnant is a valid grief
Grief experts previously told USA TODAY that women who discover they can't get pregnant often mourn what they thought bringing a child into the world would look like for them. Though it isn't the same as grieving the death of a loved one, it's a painful experience nonetheless.
"There's this hierarchy around what grief deserves to get mourned or get honored," said Loree Johnson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, adding all forms of grief are valid.
Susan Youngsteadt, a social worker in Raleigh, North Carolina, previously opened up to USA TODAY about her experience discovering she carries a hereditary gene for breast cancer at the age of 25. As a result, she made the decision not to have biological children.
While she said she has a loving partner who is also OK with not having children, "that is something that I actively seek therapeutic support around and a community around of choosing to be childless. And some of that choice is due to my health, it is due to the risks that exist in my family system with both of my parents having a cancer diagnosis."
More:At 25 she found out she had the breast cancer gene. Now, she's grieving motherhood.
As with all forms of grief, Youngsteadt said some days are better than others.
"Sometimes it's hard to separate (the different grief experiences)," she said. "But I think something we tell people to do clinically and therapeutically is that you have to hold space for each one and take all the time you need to cry or have a ritual or seek support around each thing and let it run its own course. And then you can pick up the next thing."
Coping with grief
When it comes to grief, psychotherapist and podcast host Amy Morin previously told USA TODAY talking could be beneficial, but not all talk will be helpful.
"When someone is grieving another type of loss, like the loss of hope after learning they can't have a child, the information might be kept private," she said. "Other people may also minimize the impact of a loss. That can slow the healing process."
My dog died two months ago.Pet loss causes deep grief that our society ignores.
Grief slithers into our lives at inconvenient times. It leaves us uncomfortable and unwilling to discuss it.
"People get worried that it might be contagious," David Kessler, grief expert and founder of Grief.com, previously told USA TODAY. "Like, if I hear too much about your parent dying, it doesn't mean my parent's dying soon. Is it?"
More:Selena Gomez's revealing documentary gave her freedom: 'There wasn't any hiding anymore'
Grief wasn't something Youngsteadt ever planned on. No one does.
But "the older I get, and the more grief has touched my life, I think that's where I need to be," she said. "And I think that's where I need to immerse myself. It's where I feel the most aligned. It's where I feel – it's weird to say comfortable – but it's where I really feel like that's where I'm supposed to be."
Contributing: David Oliver
veryGood! (22)
Related
- Friday the 13th luck? 13 past Mega Millions jackpot wins in December. See top 10 lottery prizes
- All eyes are on Coppola in Cannes. Sound familiar?
- Rory McIlroy not talking about divorce on eve of PGA Championship
- The Biden administration is planning more changes to quicken asylum processing for new migrants
- Who are the most valuable sports franchises? Forbes releases new list of top 50 teams
- How many calories are in an egg? A quick guide to the nutrition facts for your breakfast
- Woman who fought off crocodile to save her twin sister honored by King Charles III
- Here's what Americans think is the best long-term investment
- What were Tom Selleck's juicy final 'Blue Bloods' words in Reagan family
- Jets to play six prime-time games in first 11 weeks of 2024 NFL schedule
Ranking
- Will the 'Yellowstone' finale be the last episode? What we know about Season 6, spinoffs
- Slovak politicians call for calming of political tensions after shooting of prime minister
- ‘Mad Max’ has lived in George Miller’s head for 45 years. He’s not done dreaming yet
- Truck driver in deadly Florida bus crash told authorities he smoked marijuana oil the night before, arrest report says
- McConnell absent from Senate on Thursday as he recovers from fall in Capitol
- Investigation continues into 4 electrical blackouts on ship that caused Baltimore bridge collapse
- Andy Cohen Weighs in on Rumors Dorit Kemsley's Separation From PK Is a Publicity Stunt
- Brittney and Cherelle Griner reveal baby's name and videos from baby shower
Recommendation
Megan Fox's ex Brian Austin Green tells Machine Gun Kelly to 'grow up'
Muth, 2024 Preakness favorite trained by Bob Baffert, scratched from Saturday's race
Sister Wives' Garrison Brown's Cause of Death Shared 2 Months After Death at 25
Family of California Navy veteran who died after officer knelt on his neck settles lawsuit for $7.5M
NHL in ASL returns, delivering American Sign Language analysis for Deaf community at Winter Classic
Chiefs' 2024 schedule includes game on every day of week except Tuesday
Staff member dies after assault by juvenile at Iowa youth facility
Watch: Navy class climbs greasy Herndon Monument after two-hour struggle in freshman ritual