Current:Home > FinanceWhat is breadcrumbing? Paperclipping? Beware of these toxic viral dating trends. -TradeWisdom
What is breadcrumbing? Paperclipping? Beware of these toxic viral dating trends.
View
Date:2025-04-12 18:19:53
Were you about to soft-launch your situationship until his beige flags gave you the ick? Or do you have no idea what we're talking about?
If the latter is the case, you're not alone. TikTok and other social media sites seem to spawn new viral dating terms and buzzwords everyday. It can feel impossible to keep up with them all.
Though many may dismiss these dating terms as silly internet-isms, experts have said behaviors like the ones these terms encompass can have major implications for people's mental health. So, no matter if you're in a healthy relationship this Valentine's Day, or coping with getting breadcrumbed, paperclipped or orbited for the zillionth time, here's a handy guide to the treacherous landscape of modern dating.
What is a situationship?
A situationship is a lack of consensus on what a relationship actually is, which usually means an awkward middle ground somewhere between friendship and a committed relationship. For many, a situationship is a unique type of purgatory where they don’t know how to define the relationship dynamic. This often means a "no-strings-attached" dynamic without boundaries or mutual understanding.
Though some may find it liberating to remove relationship labels, for others, not knowing where they stand in a relationship, what they should expect, or where the relationship is heading feels unnerving and painful.
Is 'the spark' a red flag?Sometimes. Experts say look for this in a relationship instead
What is relation-shopping?
Relation-shopping is dating by a long list of rigid standards that aren't necessities. Relation-shoppers have a hard time feeling satisfied with the person they're dating and, similar to "dating maximizers," constantly wonder if there's someone out there who could be better suited for them.
"You're setting yourself up for not feeling fulfilled and satisfied in your dating life," Blaine Anderson, a dating coach, previously told USA TODAY about relation-shopping. "If you don't know what your end goal looks like, it's hard to know when to stop."
Have you heard of 'relation-shopping'?It might be why you're still single.
What is breadcrumbing?
Breadcrumbing is an act of giving someone just enough attention to keep them interested without exerting much effort or committing. This looks like someone sending you sporadic flirty texts, social media interactions or hints at meeting up, without them being specific or following through. When you're about to call it quits or when you're interest wanes, the breadcrumber usually offers more "crumbs."
More:What is 'breadcrumbing' in a relationship? And how to handle it
What is orbiting?
Orbiting can be best described as lingering in someone's online presence as a potential love interest without ever getting close or “sticking around” after a romantic relationship has ended. This perpetual orbit serves as a reminder of their existence, even if intentions are unclear or they have decided to no longer pursue a romantic connection. This behavior involves a person following, viewing, and engaging with your social media content.
Many fall into the trap of overanalyzing the orbiting behavior, desperately seeking clues about the other person's feelings; however, this often ends up being a waste of time and energy.
'Orbiting' is killing your relationship.How to make it stop
What is ghosting?
Ghosting is when an individual cuts off all contact with someone they are dating, without explanation. As a result, many people are left ruminating on why the other person disappeared. Though most may hope the explanation entails a national security level emergency, a new type of dating amnesia or an alien abduction, it’s more likely rooted in the other person's lack of interest or fizzled attraction.
What is phubbing?
Phubbing is the impolite habit of ignoring those in front of you in favor of your phone. A portmanteau for "phone" and "snubbing," phubbing is often instinctive and unintentional. Many people do it to stay connected with others, whether it's through social media, texting or emailing, but it can have the opposite effect on those closest to you. It can be especially hurtful when it happens on a date.
What is soft-launching?
Soft-launching is hinting that you have someone special in your life, while keeping the details or even person's identity somewhat ambiguous. Soft-launching can look like posting a picture of joined hands, the person's silhouette, or the person holding a large coffee mug that covers their face. It can also entail having a significant other pop up in your social media posts − but only in group photos or settings that make your friends wonder if you're together or not.
What is a simp?
Derived from the word "simpleton," this popular term began as a way to mock men who pander to women in an effort to sleep with them. Now, the term is used much more loosely, describing anyone who shows ample affection for someone else.
Though use of the term may seem like a harmless joke, experts said it can be damaging to equate a man's kindness with weakness.
"When we 'simp' shame, it sends a message to men that caring about the plight or well-being of women is not a 'manly' thing to do," Destin Gerek, author of "The Evolved Masculine," previously told USA TODAY. "But it should be the exact opposite: to not care is the 'unmanly' thing."
What is the ick?
The ick is the feeling of becoming suddenly (and, usually, irreversibly) repulsed by someone you once found attractive. Did you swoon during your dinner date, only for the chemistry to vanish once your partner pulled out his velcro wallet? You got the ick.
Sometimes the ick points to a deeper issue in the person experiencing it. For instance, if someone has an avoidant attachment style, they may use the ick as an excuse to not get close to someone.
What is a beige flag?
Originally, the term beige flag was meant to help single people identify signs on dating apps that someone might be boring, but the term has since evolved to describe someone's harmless quirks. Does your boyfriend think he's a Waze influencer? That's a beige flag.
Though a silly TikTok trend, the idea of being able to identify what constitutes a deal breaker, positive trait or observation that falls somewhere in between is a helpful exercise, marriage and family therapist Anita Chlipala previously told USA TODAY.
What is paperclipping?
Paperclipping is when an ex reaches out intermittently not because they're interested but rather to keep you on the back burner as an option. It's intentional and often used by narcissists. According to Damona Hoffman, relationship coach and host of "The Dates and Mates" podcast, the dating trend is named after Clippy, the early-2000s annoying Microsoft pop-up that offered to "help" whenyou least expected or needed it. The same goes for an ex, who may follow up only to disappear again.
Paperclipping is problematic, because "it perpetuates the idea that people are disposable. That they're not individuals, but rather things to be objectified," clinical psychologist Carla Manly previously told USA TODAY.
Contributing: Sara Kuburic, Jenna Ryu and Hannah Yasharoff, USA TODAY
veryGood! (755)
Related
- This was the average Social Security benefit in 2004, and here's what it is now
- Police identify North Carolina man fatally shot by officer during Thanksgiving traffic stop
- Alabama priest Alex Crow was accused of marrying an 18-year-old and fleeing to Italy.
- Sean 'Diddy' Combs accused of sexual abuse by two more women
- DeepSeek: Did a little known Chinese startup cause a 'Sputnik moment' for AI?
- Kentucky residents can return home on Thanksgiving after derailed train spills chemicals, forces evacuations
- UN chief gives interview from melting Antarctica on eve of global climate summit
- Olympian Oscar Pistorius granted parole 10 years after killing his girlfriend in South Africa
- Justice Department, Louisville reach deal after probe prompted by Breonna Taylor killing
- Let's be real. Gifts are all that matter this holiday season.
Ranking
- The 401(k) millionaires club keeps growing. We'll tell you how to join.
- Militants with ties to the Islamic State group kill at least 14 farmers in an attack in east Congo
- NYC Mayor Eric Adams accused of sexual assault 30 years ago in court filing
- Victims in Niagara Falls border bridge crash identified as Western New York couple
- Where will Elmo go? HBO moves away from 'Sesame Street'
- Gaza cease-fire enters second day with more hostages to be exchanged and critical supplies delivered
- How comic Leslie Jones went from funniest person on campus to 'SNL' star
- At least 10 Thai hostages released by Hamas
Recommendation
Rylee Arnold Shares a Long
Argentina and Brazil charged by FIFA after fan violence delays World Cup qualifying game at Maracana
How algorithms determine what you'll buy for the holidays — and beyond
Kentucky train derailment causes chemical spill, forces evacuations
McConnell absent from Senate on Thursday as he recovers from fall in Capitol
Militants with ties to the Islamic State group kill at least 14 farmers in an attack in east Congo
The Excerpt podcast: Cease-fire between Hamas and Israel begins, plus more top stories
As police investigate fan death at Taylor Swift show, safety expert shares concert tips