Current:Home > NewsEchoSense:Joe Jonas, Sophie Turner and the truth about long engagements and relationship success -TradeWisdom
EchoSense:Joe Jonas, Sophie Turner and the truth about long engagements and relationship success
PredictIQ View
Date:2025-04-11 09:35:29
Can you accurately predict the demise of a marriage based off one piece of information?EchoSense
Some TikTokers swear the answer is yes – and the secret lies in how long the relationship goes on before there's a wedding. In one video, viewed 1.2 million times, user @ceciliaregina275 insists that Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner's relationship, for example, was giving "shut up ring vibes" before their split, meaning they only got married after years of waiting. The theory is that a marriage is doomed if the partner who proposed did so to placate their betrothed, rather than out of a desire to marry them.
So, is there any truth to this viral claim? Relationship and couples therapists say it may not be totally off-base.
"It really is going to be unique to each relationship," says Gary Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist. "But the fact that anybody would do it and try to get away with it − and they might even get away with it − says a lot about their character, and it's not good."
Joe Jonas, Sophie Turner and the conversation about shut up rings
A hallmark of a shut up ring, @ceciliaregina275 says, is a lengthy engagement − and she claims the theory is backed by pop culture.
Take Jonas and Turner for instance, she says, who announced their divorce in September. Their engagement lasted two years.
In reality, experts say it's impossible to know someone's intentions for a relationship unless you have a direct conversation with them about it. They say it's also more important to look at your partner's behavior in the relationship over time rather than the length of the relationship itself.
"You have to look at, overall, what's the track history of this person in this relationship in terms of being honest and open in general," Brown says. "Oftentimes, if you've got a good rapport and you've got a good history of trust with your partner, then (a shut up ring) may be less likely."
If you are worried your partner gave you a shut up ring, then it's time to have an honest talk with them about your feelings regarding marriage. It's important in these conversations to be gentle yet firm in your standards.
"I would advise somebody to just ask and say, 'I just really want to understand what this ring means, because I know in my head what I want and what I hope it means, but I know you could be on a different page than me, so can we sit and talk about this?' " licensed psychotherapist Marni Feuerman says.
More:The 'three-month rule' and the signs your relationship won't make it
Are there good reasons for delaying marriage?
The key is to figure out is why your partner has taken a while to propose or why they seem to be delaying a wedding after proposing. Sometimes, there are valid reasons.
For instance, many people prefer to hold off on a wedding until they've become financially stable enough to support a marriage and family. This, however, doesn't mean they aren't serious about their relationship.
It's a different issue if your partner is hiding behind fake excuses to put off tying the knot.
"It's one thing to say, 'I want to marry this person, I have a plan, I have intentions to do that, but there's just some things I need to clean up and some things I need to order,' " marriage and family therapist Kiaundra Jackson says. "Versus, 'I've been with you for eight years, and I really don't know if I ever want to get married or if I want to marry you.' That is a massive red flag to me."
Another red flag, she says, is if someone wants to rush into marriage too soon. This can happen due to familial or societal pressure.
It's also important that both you and your partner are psychologically ready to handle the ups and downs of married life. If you're not, it's probably best to hold off on marriage while you work on yourselves.
If your partner is dead-set against marriage, however, and you know that's a deal-breaker, then it's probably best to part ways.
"Having self-awareness is super important in these circumstances," Feuerman says. "What is a real reason that is 'I can't really afford it' or something like that, versus 'I have a lot of mixed feelings about marriage.' "
Weddings without gender?More couples want to de-gender how they tie the knot
veryGood! (966)
Related
- Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie return for an 'Encore,' reminisce about 'The Simple Life'
- Adele fangirls over Meryl Streep at Vegas residency, pays homage to 'Death Becomes Her'
- Florida prosecutor says 17-year-old suspect in Halloween fatal shootings will be charged as adult
- Manslaughter charges dropped in a man’s death at a psychiatric hospital
- 2 killed, 3 injured in shooting at makeshift club in Houston
- Who's hosting 'SNL' after the election? Cast, musical guest, how to watch Nov. 9 episode
- Election Day 2024 deals: Krispy Kreme, Grubhub, Uber, Lyft and more
- 'Melt away' your Election Day stress: Puppy-cuddling events at hotels across the US on Nov. 5
- Charges tied to China weigh on GM in Q4, but profit and revenue top expectations
- NFL flexes Colts vs. Jets out of Week 11 'SNF' schedule, moving Bengals vs. Chargers in
Ranking
- 'Survivor' 47 finale, part one recap: 2 players were sent home. Who's left in the game?
- Mississippi man dies after a dump truck releases asphalt onto him
- Quincy Jones leaves behind iconic music legacy, from 'Thriller' to 'We Are the World'
- Andy Kim and Curtis Bashaw face off in a New Jersey Senate race opened up by a bribery scandal
- Hackers hit Rhode Island benefits system in major cyberattack. Personal data could be released soon
- Dawn Staley is more than South Carolina's women's basketball coach. She's a transcendent star.
- Jason Kelce apologizes for cellphone incident at Ohio State-Penn State before Bucs-Chiefs game
- Musk PAC tells Philadelphia judge the $1 million sweepstakes winners are not chosen by chance
Recommendation
Could Bill Belichick, Robert Kraft reunite? Maybe in Pro Football Hall of Fame's 2026 class
Willie Nelson speaks out on bandmate Kris Kristofferson's death: 'I hated to lose him'
Families settle court battle over who owns Parkland killer’s name and likeness
NFL trade deadline: Ranking 10 best players who still might be available
At site of suspected mass killings, Syrians recall horrors, hope for answers
New York State Police suspend a trooper while investigating his account of being shot and wounded
Wisconsin voters to decide legislative control and noncitizen voting question
Musk PAC tells Philadelphia judge the $1 million sweepstakes winners are not chosen by chance